October 8, 2006

Hidden Wholeness

By Julianne Stokstad

Disabilities Awareness Week is October 8-14 in the United States. On this Sunday the United Church of Christ calls upon us to work together to celebrate, honor and welcome people who live with disabilities. According to census data, one in five Americans has some kind of disability: that means 60 million people. One in ten has a severe disability. We've come a long way in our awareness, and I suspect most of you would say here we take pretty good care for those with disabilities: we have handicapped parking spaces reserved, we have ramps and rails around the church and in the bathrooms, we have large print bulletins available and we have an excellent sound system.

We do pretty well in our awareness of evident disabilities, but what about the ones we can't see? First of all, not all disabilities are visible or even named or claimed. They come in many forms: physical, mental and emotional. All cause disruption, and cause suffering in one form or another. Are we aware of the man with chronic pain that drains his energy and isolates him? Do we know how hard it is for him to get up and come to church? Do we respond when he asks for a ride? What about people living with unseen illnesses, those living with some form of mental illness for example? Statistics say that the number of families likely to have one member with a mental disorder is one in four.

When we look at people with disabilities, what is it we see? Probably, their lack of ability to do something we can do. Are we uncomfortable or afraid of them? Are we embarrassed at our helplessness in the face of another's suffering or not knowing how to help them? We could ask.

Our own disabilities are things many of us don't talk about. I suspect there are quite a few, right here, who could qualify as disabled, but don't claim it. There are probably as many reasons as there are people, but few want to be set apart as different. Some people feel disability carries a stigma. When I think about how much easier it is for most of us to give than to receive, it is no wonder we keep quiet. Have we considered how we allow those with disabilities to give to us? Let me tell you about a young man in a confirmation class I taught years ago. I'll call him Peter. He was a born with severe developmental disabilities. He was a crack baby, adopted and raised by an amazing lesbian couple. In class, he was polite but didn't always follow what was going on. Surprisingly, his mother said, he really wanted to come to confirmation. I will never forget when I asked the class what did they think God was calling them to, most of the boys hemmed and hawed, couldn't think of a good answer, distracted as they were by the demands of their world on them. When it was his turn, he looked at me and said slowly, his speech was slow and awkward; God is calling me to be kind. I have never forgotten his words and as I think of them, they have changed my life. Being kind to everyone is a way I seek to be in the world. Those with disabilities have much to teach us about the world, about faith, and about God.

Many with disabilities suffer a great deal, and so for many a theological question arises. When I think about a friend who in her thirties has had rheumatoid arthritis her whole life, the question of suffering - especially innocent suffering - arises. Our scripture from the book of Job is one of the best places in Bible to look at this question.

Everyone has heard of the patience of Job in the face of unimaginable suffering. It raises many deep and profound questions about the nature of God and the nature of the human condition, the character of justice and the enigma of suffering. It is surprising that the book of Job is even in the Bible. It parallels other stories from Middle Eastern cultures. And scholars think Job wasn't even Jewish.

Job is considered a part of the Old Testament writings called Wisdom Literature, which also includes the Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Solomon. Wisdom literature is creation centered. Often through poetry and song it tells how God created the earth and everything in it and how we can know God by observing the natural world. Much of the Wisdom Literature tells us how to live joyfully and responsibly in harmony with creation. And the book of Job is a part of Wisdom Literature, addressing our relationship with God in the face of suffering.

We don't know much about Job except that he is blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil. His character is defined by his great integrity and that integrity is most important to him. Job trusted God, obeyed the rules and was a greatly respected wealthy leader. Now as Satan said, it is easy to trust God when everything is going your way and you are living amidst great blessings.

In the Prologue, the narrator tells us Job was set-up, sold out by God to be tested by Satan. I'm shocked! I know it is a story, but nevertheless that is probably my worst nightmare to have God be some weak, Wizard of Oz-like character, who collaborates with a perverse Satan busy devising cruel tests for our faith. Satan (pronounced sa-TAN) is actually a problem in Judaism because the idea of a devil, some evil-minded fallen angel, messing up our lives, isn't found at all. Satan translated from the Hebrew means the adversary, the one who disturbs. This adversary is modeled from the ancient Persian court system, where as the loyal opposition he brought greater clarity for the king's actions not evil purposes. I wonder if perhaps disabilities, illnesses and such that disrupt our lives could be considered like Satan, that which disturbs us.

So here is Job unknowingly set up and tested by Satan who seems to assume Job will curse God and lose his trust and faith for God when things get bad enough. Even his wife, Mrs. Job tells him to curse God and die. "Why persist in your integrity?", she asks. And Job says, "Shall we receive the good at the hand of God and not receive the bad?" And he did not sin with his lips, but we don't know what is in his heart.

You know the story. His three friends come to visit him in the ash heap and each tells Job he must have done something wrong to be punished like this. They understand that God rewards good behavior with blessings and when one suffers it is because God is punishing us for doing something wrong. You would be surprised common it is for people to revert to this awful theology when someone has something terrible happens. God must be testing you, people will say. You must have done something to deserve this. How I hate this blame the victim theology.

Mrs. Job, like Job, knows that something has changed. She sees that Job's integrity, his careful following of the rules, doesn't seem to matter any more. Feelings of betrayal and abandonment by God cause many people even in this day and age to reject God. But this God of theirs is too small. Job spends most of the book trying to get God to come forward and explain and when God finally does come in a whirlwind, Job humbly realizes he didn't know God or God's ways at all. God is God and greater than all understanding. He rejects his former view of God and is comforted in his new knowledge of God. And mostly as a postscript his fortunes are restored. So Job learns through his suffering to have a new relationship with God, not built on rules but on love and respect.

Thomas Merton says "...there is in all things.....a hidden wholeness." Wholeness for Merton does not mean perfection but rather that we recognize and accept brokenness as an integral part of the human condition. Looking at disabilities this way changes how we see it. Some are blind, others have arthritis, and some have autism. I used to tell my students that statistically each of us carries several genes that will lead to disease or disability. We just don't know how or when they will be expressed.

And while each of us has some brokenness or disability, there is in every one of us, a hidden wholeness, a beautiful soul, a little piece of God. In connecting with that wholeness, deep healing can happen. By recognizing this wholeness in each other, by being unafraid of those with disabilities, we can help bring God's healing into our world. I know that we can reach out with open hands to all and look for and delight in the light we see in each other. The point isn't how we have been broken; the point is to see the wholeness and to allow it to shine brightly into the world.

Peter understood more about life than the other boys and taught us all. Job trusted God even as he learned he had to form a new relationship with God, a relationship based more on love than fear, a relationship based on understanding and acceptance. May it be so for us?