October 23, 2005

A Work in Progress

by Julianne Stokstad

Several weeks ago I had a very interesting conversation. I've been thinking about it ever since. We were talking about jobs and how to find a new one that might bring more satisfaction. Through taking a variety of tests, this person had been told there were basically two kinds of people: those that are process oriented, like teachers and those that are goal oriented, like engineers. One needed to decide what kind of person one was and then proceed to find the job within the appropriate category.

The more I thought about this distinction, the more I decided it isn't that simple. The difference seems to me to be one of perspective. Both processes and goals are involved in everything we do: if we don't have a goal: we don't even know where we are going and if we don't have a process: we'll never get moving. I began to look through the lens of process and of goal at our spiritual life. Today's scriptures provide some interesting food for thought.

I've always felt it was unfair that Moses died seeing the Promised Land off in the distance, but he did not get to go there. There never was a more faithful servant than Moses, yet he didn't make the goal. Moses is one of my heroes. I'm sure you recall the Moses' story: how as a tiny Jewish baby he was put in the river in a bulrush basket; how he was rescued by the Pharaoh's daughter; how he was raised with great privilege in the royal court and ultimately led the Israelites out of slavery into the promised land. But did you know he ran away into the wilderness to avoid being punished for committing a murder?

Then while he was in the wilderness, his life's direction changed forever as he encountered God in the burning bush. No longer was he living for himself. Under God's direction, he went back to Egypt, led his people out of slavery through forty years in the wilderness, and with God's continual guidance and help, he brought the Israelites the law and to the land.

I've made it sound easy, but the Bible also tells about the hard parts along the way: about Moses' doubts, of his many fears, of his failures and of his leadership problems with the difficult, constantly complaining Israelites. But it also tells of his close and constant relationship with God. Moses' life is an archetypal story and its basic parts can be seen within our own lives. We each have our own personal place of slavery from which we are scared to leave. We all have our own areas of weakness and insecurity. We all must journey through the wilderness of our fear, suffering, struggles and failure before we reach the goal of the Promised land. For us, like Moses, it is through our connection with God and community that we are strengthened and supported to move and grow on this spiritual journey.

In today's gospel reading, Jesus is yet again being tested by the Pharisees about the law. It was a controversy whether all the commandments were equal and to be equally obeyed or whether some were more important than others. We forget sometimes that the requirement we love God and neighbor is from the Torah because it has become such an important part of Christianity. The Shema was and is offered daily in the prayers of every pious Jew. Jesus quoted the Shema directly from Deuteronomy: "Hear O Israel, The Lord our God is one Lord and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart." The second part about loving your neighbor as yourself is from Leviticus and was a new juxtaposition.

In Jesus' life too we can see process and goal but the Great Commandment is important for both. Christianity focuses on love: God's love for us and our response of loving God and our neighbor and loving ourselves. So what is this love? Is it a noun, something to seek after and possess. Is it a goal? Or is love a verb? Something dynamic, more like a process? Love is both. Goal and process, the having and the doing, both are inter-connected, like cloth made of threads woven together making the very fabric of Jesus' and of our lives. Love in all forms and ways is inter-connected.

God is the source of all love because God is love. In all religious traditions the mystics are those who have direct experiences of God and all speak of God's wonderful love. For most of us, it is through our human relationships that we learn about God's love. I recall my science students, fully caught up in scientific rationalism, asking me about love when we were studying the brain. I could only answer them that I hope they had experienced it as I had. Most of them nodded in agreement. Love is not to be explained but experienced. Paul Tillich, a Protestant theologian noted, "In every moment of genuine love, we are dwelling in God and God in us." It is in our experience of love, we begin to understand the mystery of something beyond ourselves, the mystery of God.

Jesus tells us that it is through being in relationship that we are able to love. He says it is our job to love God and our job to love neighbor and also love self. It is important we balance in these loves or else we end up with idolatry. If we love ourselves or focus on ourselves too much, we end up with narcissism and selfishness. It is possible to love another to harmful possessive excess, sacrificing ourselves. Even excessive religious devotion can become an idol, an addiction.

Life itself is a course on how to love. It takes practice, attentiveness, committed devotion and an open heart. While we learn first from our parents, our primary caregivers, I believe, children know instinctively about God's love for them.. Can you remember seeing in the clear eyes of a gurgling baby a reflection of God's love? Without love and touch, babies die. As children grow up, they are exposed to inevitable hurts, bumps and bruises we all experience from living and so they begin to forget about what they knew. Many of us seek to regain this awareness of God's love for us throughout our lives.

To fully give oneself up to love, one must first have a self. As we learn more about ourselves, we continue learning about love in the relationships we have. As our relationships mature, our love matures and we grow in our ability to love, in all the many different ways there are to love. Most of us have learned that love is an unlimited resource, the more we love we give away, the more love we have.

Joseph Campbell tells a story of a troubled woman who came to a wise one with the complaint that she did not love God. The wise one asked her if there is something that she did love. She answered, "Oh yes, I love my little niece." The wise one replied, "There is your love and service to God, in your love and service of your little niece." It is in the service and love of others, of neighbor, that our love grows. That is why I say I want folks to do what they love in our church, not what they feel they should do, because we are benefit when we are acting out of love.

So, is entering the Promised Land or finding the Kingdom of God the goal of our spiritual life? If so, it might seem that God let Moses down, because after all his work, devotion and love, Moses did not get to enter the promised land. Or was he already there? Moses was living with full awareness of God's presence, He was in relationship with God, doing God's work, growing into a leader he had no idea he could be and doing things he had no idea he could do. He was leading his people to where he already was, to the knowing of God in their lives.

But like Moses, Jesus knew God. He called God "abba" or daddy showing the great intimacy and love in their relationship. He was already fully living in the reality of God's presence. His message of love came from the intimate awareness of God in his life.

Our spiritual journey is a process of becoming in relationship with God. God promises to be with us as he was in Moses and with Jesus. Each of us is a work in progress. God created each of us in great love, gave us the freedom to come to know God in our lives. God is not finished with any of us. Trust God. Amen